There’s no denying that friendships play an important role in our lives. Arguably, we are shaped by our experiences and the company we keep is also no exception. However, as we continue to age, our personalities and life choices and as do our relationships change.
Our relationships with our families, our friends and ourselves are the closest to us and it is not uncommon to find shifts in interests, goals and maybe even friendships. Speaking from experience, changes to friendships can be both emotional and renewing, especially when one party is saying ‘Goodbye’. Here’s how to make the process a little easier.
1. Honour Your Heart:
Your intuition might have been telling you that the friendship has felt different for a while. Tune in to your higher self to assess what’s going on in a way that you feel most comfortable with such as meditation, solitary contemplation or perhaps consulting or confiding in someone. Be mindful about being completely honest about your feelings, trust in the power of self-love and reveal the truth in your heart of hearts without any judgment or guilt so that you can approach this matter with love.
2. Embrace This Change:
This might seem like an odd thing to say, but allow yourself to embrace this change and surrender to it. Like a lot of things in life, relationships are cyclical and even if you’re distancing yourself from a friend now, it doesn’t mean that it is forever. ‘Release’ your friend with love, without letting guilt or fear influence your actions so that they too can move on. Permitting change in your life allows you to keep growing, expanding and moving forward to create space for new experiences to occur.
3. Choose Gratitude:
Gratitude is a powerful emotion. Expressing thanks can shift ‘low serving’ emotions such as anger, jealousy, resentment or fear into ‘high serving’ emotions such as compassion, love, peace and surrender. Focus on the beautiful aspects of your friendship, be grateful for the support, love, kindness and happiness that it brought and reflect on what you’ve gained. Surrender with a grateful heart, knowing that there is something to be learned from this experience. Yes, even sad and hurtful experiences can be our greatest teachers.
4. Write A Letter:
If you feel like writing helps you release your emotions, then why not write a letter to your friend. It doesn’t matter if you send it to them or not, the process of writing is healing in itself. Imagine that they’re sitting in front of you while you do this and use this opportunity to pour your heart out. The effect of doing this can be quite profound and you’ll feel lighter and much more relieved after doing so.
You might not have said ‘goodbye’ to your friend as you may have chosen to let the friendship dwindle naturally. Or perhaps you discovered that your friendship had ended unexpectedly when you tried to make contact. In situations like these, similar to the ‘choose gratitude’ suggestion above, send love to your friend and the friendship. Speak of them fondly, hold your memories close or if you’ve chosen to write them a letter, use love to formulate your words. When you honour yourself and come from a place of love, people feel that and the energy around your words will be gentler and more understanding.
“Goodbyes are only for those who love with their eyes. Because for those who love with heart and soul there is no such thing as separation.” - Rumi
Watching a friend go or ending a relationship doesn’t necessarily mean goodbye, it could also mean hello. Hello to a new adventure, a new relationship, a new path on your journey. Don’t think of it as having lost a friend, but rather having gained so much from their presence in your life. As Rumi says, how can you lose something that will always live inside you?