Breaking up is hard to do. That intense emotional turmoil that takes over can be frustrating, painful and outright gut wrenching. Just out of a long relationship that I thought was ‘it’ and having to make one of the hardest decisions of my life to let it go really took its toll on me. It was an all encompassing turmoil; mentally, physically and emotionally.
Getting over a breakup is not the easiest thing in the world to do and it does take time, but you will get over it. What’s more important than loving someone else is loving yourself (as cliché as this may seem, it’s true). When your world seemingly may feel that it has collapsed, know deep down that you can be on the road to recovery to rebuild yourself again. These are some of the things I did to pick myself up and out of the gloom, and it may just work for you too.
Cry It Out
Crying is not a sign of weakness, it's a great way to release stress, pain and anything that causes the heartache. It’s a great way to confront your feelings and allow you to cleanse the emotions that have been overwhelming you. A good cry never hurts anyone, so stock up on the tissues and allow yourself to let your tears and emotions flow.
Accept The Truth
This is probably the hardest and trickiest bit. When there's another person who means so much involved, it's really difficult to just let go and pretend that it doesn't affect you. Do yourself a favour and list down the reasons why the breakup happened in the first place and why it couldn't be avoided. Chances are, knowing that this was the right decision for you in the long run will help you heal better.
Once you've accepted that this is what’s best for you, it's time to move on and find things that make your heart happy. I'm not saying jump into another relationship, but focus on finding new aspects of yourself that will help you grow as a person. Once you learn to love yourself, everything else will slowly fall in place on its own.
Be Prepared For Withdrawals
Chances are you'll face break up withdrawals. Allow that to happen and allow yourself to feel all you need to so you can move on again. It gets easier with time to deal with these feelings of hurt, guilt, confusion and doubt.
Rebuild Your Self-Worth
This process of finding yourself and loving yourself is so very crucial. You need to understand that you will feel so many different feelings, at very different times and all of which are okay for you to feel because you are after all, human.
Find positive things to incorporate into your daily routine. It could be something as easy as indulging in some ice cream or even taking up meditating to give your thoughts a cleanse. Focus on the positive, engage in hobbies that uplift you, write your feelings down, rediscover what makes you happy.
Give yourself the time and space to heal. Everyone hurts and heals differently and each individual goes through an entirely different process to rejuvenate and grow. Don't force a timeframe on yourself, as it will come naturally.
Adjusting to your new normal will take time and that is perfectly fine. Trust yourself enough to know that you'll get better and stronger with each day. There's so much more that life has to offer and there are millions of people you still haven't met yet. So take your time and when you’re ready, get out there and enjoy life! After all, saying goodbye brings new hellos!